Whats in an identity?

ahy-den-ti-tee - n: the condition of being oneself or itself, and not another: He doubted his own identity.

I have not been myself for several years now. I have been a lie. One after another. One grand scheme after another. One failure after another.

I am tired of lying. I am tired of schemes. I am tired of failure. So I going to do something right. I am going to do what I want to do. And I am going to look god damned amazing while doing it. So fuck all this modern you-should-know-better-then-to-draw-like-that shit.

Fuck it up its asshole.

I am going to draw comics again. Yes I am. And its going to be dirty. Yes it is. It's going to be cross hatched. Yes sir. Its going to look so 80's. So 90's. So dated. Its going to be what I liked. What we all liked. And what were all afraid, now that we know better, to say we liked too. To say we bought 8 million copies of a comic with characters who all looked the same.

Fuck. I like Jim Lee. I don't care if all his figures look the same.

To say we were cheering when a man took his seven friends from the big two and made a new company. Where creators could own what they create.

I like Todd Mcfarlane. I don't care if he can't draw hands. I don't give a rat's ass if he can't draw feet.

To say we were right there in the dirt in the garbage with that man with horns and cape and boy wonder and a mad on for the man of steel.

I like Norm Breyfogle. I like the hatched backgrounds. The littered streets. The atmosphere. That palpable dirt. That grunge.

I miss that stuff. And today is all about looking like the other guy who did an awesome job.

Okay Frank Miller. I get it. I get it.

I know why everything you do now looks like you shit in your hand and wiped it all over the page. I get the joke. Fuck drawing well. Fuck being right 100% of the time. People bought comics when they were drawn on mommy's cutting board. They thought comics were cool then.

Damn it. They will now too. Except I work on a desk. With lots of light. And I ain't drawing no superman.

I'm drawing a Stalker.

And you know what? I think she's cool. And soon.

So will all of you.

I've found my identity. And it looks like shit. I'm finally smiling again. From ear. To ear.

Smooth sailing ahead.