Where have I been?

Well sir. I got it in my head I should stop doing what collage had taught me and do what I did before I went. The idea came to me when I decided I didn't want to be the guy who animated someone else's creations. I wanted to be the guy who had his creations animated. So I dropped the whole animation side of thinking and went back to feeling shit out.

Should have slit my wrists and hung myself. Would have been more productive. At least I'd have died and done something right.

So here I was, trying to draw what felt right. Trying to find a character's voice. Spent forever crumpling up and tossing bagfuls of failed designs. Eventually did come to rest on something I liked again, much more in tune with the over zealous drawing of the '90s. You know. When the crosshatching was crosshatched and no one knew how to draw hands or feet? I whipped a few pages of this junk and passed it off to be inked. Turns out I hatched so much, that Darlene actually had trouble figuring out what was a hatch line, and what was a figure line.

In short, the art Was terrible and I was back to square one. So I emo'd for a while. Thought, very honestly, I was done with drawing as a whole. Can't do what I want to do? Well. Fuck that noise.

Then Darlene, being a woman and a brain ninja, makes a small quiet comment last night. "Its funny how hard you try when all your characters look like Bea."

Got me thinking. Bea is a character I can draw quickly and easily. To this day, I can pick up a pencil and doodle her out without much thought. Know what that is? Thats the mark of a good design. Can piss it in the snow, easy to replicate, instantly recognizable? Great design.

I had another character I had designed I could do the same thing with. Both characters were toons with simple and easy to recognize shapes. I drew each one a few times and did what I was taught in school, I deconstructed them. Found out they both were drawn outward from one line. The line would make one eye, then their nose. Lips down a bit, other eye and presto! There they were.

So I did it again and came out with the new toon's design. In ten seconds flat.

What did I learn?

College wasn't as useless as I thought it was. I remembered I can't find a character's voice. I have to give it to them. Silly me. And oh my. What a lot of wasted time.

Now to design the cast.

I'll show what I'm working on eventually. Test is all I have for now.

Whats in an identity?

ahy-den-ti-tee - n: the condition of being oneself or itself, and not another: He doubted his own identity.

I have not been myself for several years now. I have been a lie. One after another. One grand scheme after another. One failure after another.

I am tired of lying. I am tired of schemes. I am tired of failure. So I going to do something right. I am going to do what I want to do. And I am going to look god damned amazing while doing it. So fuck all this modern you-should-know-better-then-to-draw-like-that shit.

Fuck it up its asshole.

I am going to draw comics again. Yes I am. And its going to be dirty. Yes it is. It's going to be cross hatched. Yes sir. Its going to look so 80's. So 90's. So dated. Its going to be what I liked. What we all liked. And what were all afraid, now that we know better, to say we liked too. To say we bought 8 million copies of a comic with characters who all looked the same.

Fuck. I like Jim Lee. I don't care if all his figures look the same.

To say we were cheering when a man took his seven friends from the big two and made a new company. Where creators could own what they create.

I like Todd Mcfarlane. I don't care if he can't draw hands. I don't give a rat's ass if he can't draw feet.

To say we were right there in the dirt in the garbage with that man with horns and cape and boy wonder and a mad on for the man of steel.

I like Norm Breyfogle. I like the hatched backgrounds. The littered streets. The atmosphere. That palpable dirt. That grunge.

I miss that stuff. And today is all about looking like the other guy who did an awesome job.

Okay Frank Miller. I get it. I get it.

I know why everything you do now looks like you shit in your hand and wiped it all over the page. I get the joke. Fuck drawing well. Fuck being right 100% of the time. People bought comics when they were drawn on mommy's cutting board. They thought comics were cool then.

Damn it. They will now too. Except I work on a desk. With lots of light. And I ain't drawing no superman.

I'm drawing a Stalker.

And you know what? I think she's cool. And soon.

So will all of you.

I've found my identity. And it looks like shit. I'm finally smiling again. From ear. To ear.

Smooth sailing ahead.

Guild Portrait

1/ Screenshots 23/23
2/ Rough pencils 23/23
3/ Scans 23/23
4/ Detail roughs 23/23
5/ Computer clean up 17/23
6/ Background 1/1
7/ Final

Everyone will have a single shot of their character without the group, those who want to be paired up with their family will also receive a version suited to them. Everyone will also see their character as part of the group final.

Second Set will begin after this one is done and added later.

Obviously, I have been slowing down. I don't draw as much as I used too, and am finding it harder and harder to motivate myself to bother. The year has been too difficult, every few days something else goes wrong. Death. Sickness. Financial strain. Family issues...

"Your work isn't the style we're looking for"
"We need someone who is closer to the studio"
"The new production was canceled"
"We can't accept unsolicited submissions from artists without agents".

I have an interview with a telemarketing company today, and I am hoping to pass whatever evaluation they put me through. If I get it, there will be five to seven weeks of nine to five days ahead of me at just over minimum wage. I feel far to much pressure from the mounting bills and the creeping holiday heavy times to hold onto a silly dream anymore. Not to mention a mortgage, a car, insurance, a loan, a few credit cards, and a kid too. It's time I grew up and quit wasting my life away.

So I am making it official. I am no longer attempting to be a professional artist. There are no opportunities here, none of the people who have asked for a commission ever got back to me when the topic of my wanting to be paid came up. I have sent my work all over the world, and have gotten the same set of responses, all of them geared toward, sorry. Not hiring.

I do plan on continuing to draw, and finishing the things I said I would. I just plan on doing it with a less fevered obsession.

~~~Commissions~~~

:::Closed:::

~~~ Nobodythere

Guild Portrait

1/ Screenshots 23/23
2/ Rough pencils 23/23
3/ Scans 23/23
4/ Detail roughs 23/23
5/ Computer clean up 14/23
6/ Background
7/ Final

Everyone will have a single shot of their character without the group, those who want to be paired up with their family will also receive a version suited to them. Everyone will also see their character as part of the group final.



~~~Commissions~~~

Hire me, and I will do a high quality full color illustration for you! Want a sample? Check out some of the work I have done for WoW players, all of whom have greatly enjoyed their requests. I will gladly do more, and have no reservations on drawing characters from other games, be it video games or other wise. Let me make one of your characters memorable!

~~~

• Character with basic background: $40.00. Add an additional $20.00 for each extra character
• Character with full background: $60.00, $20 for each extra character

I can even ship your finished print and the original pencils out to you, shipping is extra, but I only charge my clients the actual mailing cost, not any "handling fees".

I do ask for half of the commission cost before I sit down to work, just to ensure your sincerity. This start up fee is non-refundable. Once the illustration is completed it’s your obligation to follow through with the final half of the payment.

~~~

Hope to hear from you!

~~~Nobodythere